Day 166

June 15th, 2012: I’m glad that I understand how the program works, and that’s what’s saving me from being totally pissed off. It’s still academic though, and trying to turn it from emotional to academic (a critical lesson to learn from the program) is extremely difficult. This is one of the advanced truths I have to grasp to become a program Jedi.

I’m talking about the fact that I crossed back into the 260’s – solidly. I weighed in at 261 today. It’s that lag time between cheat day/diet wreck and the reflection of it on the scale. There’s the same lag time going down, but the lag time is like 2 fucking months.

Trying to convince myself that I feel stronger right along with weighing more isn’t working, though I know that these couple of extra pounds really don’t mean anything. I guess the scariest part is the whole slippery-slope thing. I’m quick to form bad habits, and much much slower to form good ones.

June 15th, 2020: Here in about 14 days, Part 1 of the Fat Ass No More blog experience concludes (180 days).  I don’t look ahead at the 2012 posts.  I don’t look at them until the day I copy them from an 8-year-old word document onto WordPress.  Then I write this part – hopefully as a wiser human being all the way around, from both experience and education.  You can be sure however, that in the years that followed 2012, not all was rainbows and butterflies regarding the program.  I’m excited to go back and post and comment, etc. about all my experiences in between, because I think it’ll make for a great story.

At the time when I’m going through the weight loss, I wish it were boring.  I wish the only story could be that I ate less, moved more, and lost weight like clockwork.  I know I reached goal weight, and then some (weighing less than 189), because there’s photographic evidence.  I also know that between 2012 and where I’m at today, I had gotten back to a high of, if I remember correctly, 247 lbs.  I stepped on the scale at 189 lbs. today, and had to battle for it – I’ve even been eating salmon!

So, just fair warning, Part 1 ends soon and I’ll start in on Part 2 a few months after that.  I’m not going to leave anyone hanging, as I plan on putting out bits and pieces of program wisdom between here and there, but you can rest assured that there were plenty of weight-loss war stories in those 8 years somewhere!

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