May 28th, 2012: Well, there went that progress I was making. Evidently there must sometimes be scale lag time going the other way with calories too.
That little, how you say, fuckup, I had was fun for only moments, but I managed to put on 6 lbs. overnight. How’s that for roller coaster? 6 lbs. Dammit. So I’m back to 267, though temporarily I hope. One minute I was knocking on the door of the next decade down, the next I’m headed back up to a decade higher.
Why? Why does it have to be so easy to wreck everything? So easy and so fast to make lasting mistakes, so difficult and so slow to recover from them.
It serves to remind me that I can and will never put this whole weight loss thing on the back burner. It’s got to be something at or near the front of my consciousness for the rest of my life – if I want to have a good quality of life.
I would also like to state that I jogged 11 miles without stopping yesterday. The program kicked me in the nuts to remind me that weight loss is diet, getting in good condition is exercise. The whole package is diet and exercise.
Don’t worry, though, those number-type setbacks are merely reminders to me, and not something that I’m going to get sad about anymore. At least for too long. You know what, I played college football, and I was once a professional firefighter, and I was once in my 20’s. But now I’m 37 and I have never felt stronger and fitter in my life, I am certain of it, and that’s within six months of being in the worst shape I’ve ever been, so overall, life is good.
I have to remember that, and I may even have to say it out loud a few times again today, maybe tomorrow, depending on what the holy grail scale tells. I’ll say, “dude, life is ok.”
May 28th, 2020: Motivators. In my life, there are tangible, or real, I guess, motivators. There are also these little pretend fairy-world things that I no longer have shame about sharing.
First the real stuff. Even at age 45, a guy can still be a little vain right? Although in reality, I believe I’m past the age of trying to act like a rooster, my mind won’t allow me to actually accept it. So high up on the list is this motivation to try to have a decent body. I’m not talking about stage-ready bodybuilding, I do know my limitations. As a guy, I just, of course, want to not stick out with clothes on, but with a tank-top, I wanna look like I put in the extra work.
Then there’s health. I’m terrified of being a burden to someone else, especially if it’s because I made poor choices for too long. This factor would always make me aware of what I’m doing with regard to diet and exercise, but because I can’t do anything half-ass, of course, then being aware means going as full-throttle as I can.
Next would be that I never want to be the weak link if the shit hit the fan, or the person who has to just standby and witness some horrible accident where I might have been able to help had I been in shape. Even if it weren’t a situation where the shit hit the fan, and somebody just needed physical help, I’d like to be that person. I’d hate to be the one asked to help somebody move, but all they wanted me for was my pickup truck.
Last is recreation. A guy once told me that the way he stayed in shape so late into life was that he used his brain for work and his body for fun. Great advice. I didn’t take that advice until I was at least in my thirties, but by then I was headed down this road of obesity. I ended up as the liability in my group of friends. After so many times being the last guy up the mountain, my friends began to very gently suggest that I remain at the truck and just have fun and drink beer, or pick them up on the other side, or down the road, etc. They would say, “dude we’ve killed deer just right on the main road, you’ll probably do better than we will”. I was the guy who they’d have drive the boat, never be the guy water skiing. I became the guy who could cook a mean camp supper, and have the firewood all ready. I became the archetype of the old man in every hunting camp who mostly has nothing left to offer but stories of the good-old days. This is when I was in my late twenties, early thirties. This isn’t the way I was gonna finish out life.
Then I have my fun fairy-world, childlike imagination stuff that keeps me motivated. Every other time I hear about Van Halen, they’re looking for a new lead singer it seems like. Hello fellas, I’m ready! Mike Tyson is coming out of retirement at age 53, maybe looking for a fight – it’s on buddy. And I fully expect to win the lottery, and when I do, we’re gonna start working toward climbing Everest.
Anything it takes to get and keep motivated I’ll use. My football coaches used to motivate us by saying they were gonna light a fire up our asses. No need coach, I’ve got my motivation toolbox ready. Even when you’re sore, even when you just feel like going through motions, then by God, get your sore ass to the gym and go through the motions.
