April 27th, 2012: It’s been busy around here, and I’ve got this new ton of energy. Did 7.5 miles of roadwork today, still prepping for the half marathon on July 21st, and also getting ready for a career transition. Not to try and be an advertisement here, but I wouldn’t have thought of any of this without some success on the program. Never mind the wait to weigh, I stepped on today at clicked off two more. 273 and counting.
I adjusted my diet, i.e. I reduced my calories yesterday. If I say “adjusted” and diet in the same sentence, it can only mean that I now eat less every day. If I’m eating more, it doesn’t mean I’ve adjusted, it means I fucked up, or I’m in the process thereof.
Only real-life athletes need to eat more when they adjust. The rest of us mere mortals always, always need to eat less. Or I do anyway.
It was like starting all over again, just to drop off 200 calories. I usually eat a whole-wheat English muffin with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter – Light on it after dinner. That was what I chose to sacrifice. I was totally fucking bummed out, but I survived. Vindication was the loss of the 2 lbs., even though it was not a direct result of that sacrifice.
April 27th, 2020: I always have the perfect scenario sketched on the canvas of my mind. Rarely does that scenario unfold as I have envisioned it, but I learned that part of my imagination will have to be pragmatic, and as such, has to plan for the character inherent in the common, everyday situations I find myself with respect to the program. I play out the situation as it would be in my dream world, then download that info to the reality of life, where I have the html code ready to rock should I have to patch the dream software. This hopefully prevents the 45-year-old me from having a little baby meltdown.
I used to always lose my shit when the smallest detail veered slightly off the heading, and when I lose my shit, my mind is like, “guess I’ll binge then”, as if that’ll fix anything. It speaks to me like the devil because situational character has the potential to incite anxiety within me, and anxiety brings out the addict in me – the food addict.
Yesterday’s loose shoelace, an example. The fact that nobody in town sells my favorite kind of zero-calorie syrup anymore, cat puke on the carpet that has to be cleaned up before I can go exercise, and I’m behind schedule anyway. Fuck and shit it’ll drive you nuts. I promise you I didn’t plan for cat puke, but whatever, I’ve planned for some kind of wobble. I have to carry on even when it ain’t Hollywood. It’s rarely Hollywood.
Still to be continued…
