Mountain View Hospital 12-17-09. Waiting for William to come into the world. 
William and I in Jackson Hole, several years and many pounds later.
April 21st, 2012: Another pound in the southern direction, but still battling the net gain of 4 lbs. from the screw-up. 278 today, with a goal, seriously, of 275 by next Saturday – latest! Gotta get there – and to do that I’ll go 40 minutes on the treadmill today, plus 30 minutes of boxing this evening. A 6.5 mile run plus boxing is planned for tomorrow, too, plus more boxing.
Just some reflection here, but I remember posting a blog sometime in mid-January not too long after I started this program. I was at this point in life where I was so fucking lazy that it took me two trips to take out the kitchen garbage. I would take the bag out of the can, then take it only to the garage door. Later on I would take it the rest of the way out to the big garbage cans in the garage. That is scary lazy. Now today I have so much planned and I know I will accomplish so much.
I have to till a garden, paint a chicken coop, go to the range and practice shooting, exercise twice, and clean the master bathroom. That’s all the while playing with my two-year old son and trying to entertain my 15-year old stepson and occupy my rowdy German Shepherd dog. Can’t tell me losing weight doesn’t have other benefits besides looking better and having better health.
My daydream today revolves again around my vendetta against the skinnier guys who think they’ll always be able to outrun me. My dream here is not clearly defined, only that I intend to be one speedy dude here pretty soon. I have crossed over into a realm where not only do I want to reach a goal-weight, but also I’m starting to have athlete feelings again. That spells danger of humiliation to those smaller guys who’ll still want to race me. I’m getting faster and faster you little shit-squirrels .
April 21st, 2020: Understand that the program and the process-trail it follows are a combination of bread crumbs that I envisioned for myself to follow to get safely back to my truck and go home; and actual blazes on the trees left by the US Forest Service to indicate where the trail is, even when there’s a foot of snow covering the trail – also to get me safely back home.
The metaphor is that the bread crumbs I’m laying down as I go are for anyone else who wants to follow me down this path someday, and the blazes are permanent markers carved into the trees because I know they’re effective, and aren’t likely to change.
Hopefully I’m not employing excessive circumlocution just to make a single point. What I’m getting at is that it’s always best to follow a trail, at least for a little while, in the beginning. Remember that you’re trying to go home. There is this goal-weight person inside all of us. You were once that size, and you’ll be there again – that’s home. You’re walking now through a very dark and potentially terrifying Mirkwood forest – and through all seasons. You have to follow a leader until you can see this valley below you where the sky has cleared and your truck is parked. Remember also, that you ain’t alone. There’s a group of bad-ass motherfuckers making the trip with you. They sweat and shiver and ache and feel exhausted just like you, but they aren’t ever going to stop, and they aren’t ever going to leave you behind. They may exist only in your mind, but that’s all that matters.
Tough does not allow you to stand still.
