April 15th, 2012: And back down to 281. I’m expecting a little unsolicited yo-yo bop action here in the 280’s. It just can’t be that easy to cross into a new decade.
What if you or someone you know is thinking about dieting, but then says, “I don’t feel unhealthy, I don’t care what I look like, I love eating and hate dieting and exercise.”? This is something I’ve heard more often than I’d have ever thought. You know the person looks terrible, moves slow, has little energy, etc. What do you say? I guess the short answer is you say, “Then don’t diet.”
The obvious reasons for so many of us to do this might just be lost on other people. It became very clear to me that I needed to do something, and then it became all about “want”. How bad did I want it? I want this pretty bad. I don’t mind exercising actually, but to tell you the truth, the change in diet was extremely difficult, and though most of the time I don’t have those wicked pangs anymore, I still get so hungry sometimes that I would eat the north end of a southbound skunk.
If I didn’t want it so bad, I would have quit on day 2! So if a person doesn’t really want it, is there any reason to really try? I don’t know.
Along those same lines, what if a person keeps starting then quitting, starting then quitting? I guess then it’s kind of like the opposite of smoking and drinking – where I was always told “Don’t ever quit quitting.” Then it becomes all about “trying”. You just have to keep up the battle. You have to keep fighting and testing yourself every day. Like Billy the Kid (Emilio Estevez) in Young Guns said, “You have to test yourself every day gentlemen, otherwise you become slow.”
So, I don’t know, just more thoughts about the thoughtful part (like 99%) of this business of weight loss. I’m headed down now to do Bob Harper’s Yoga video. I’ve been doing that thing for about 2 months now, and I still haven’t been able to get past the first part of the video that’s supposed to be used only for the first 2 weeks. He will kick your ass.
April 15th, 2020: Who the hell wants to be tested every day? Can’t a guy go through a day without some kind of challenge dogging his ass?
The answer is “fuck no” – I cannot and will not make it through a day without be challenged by something. Even if I just hid in the bed. Getting out of bed alone is fuckin challenge on some days, doesn’t matter what time of day. How do you keep running and keep going?
This mouse over here on his wheel, his name is Muridae. Full name: Muridae mus musculus. He’s Will’s pet mouse and he’s my inspiration on some days, even though he doesn’t know it. The little bastard is nocturnal, as dictated by nature, and every goddamn night at 9pm you see the bedding in the cage start to move around and out he comes. He heads straight for that wheel and gets after it. Not every mouse does this shit. I’ve seen and owned lazy mice. This one, though, he’s motivated. This may be the nature of the species, but I think it’s more his personal nature – just from my personal experience with mouse ownership.
What motivates this mouse? What motivates these crazy-energetic humans who surround me? I’m tired almost all of my waking hours; and have no innate drive to get to the top of the mountain just to see the view. I can imagine the view just fine. I don’t need to tear myself up just to see what I can already picture in my mind’s eye. I’m usually surrounded by people who appear to have enough energy to re-create the world in 6 days, never mind the simple task of climbing a mountain.
For me, I guess it must be fear. I’m not sure if I’ve written anything about it prior. If I haven’t, it wasn’t on purpose, but I did drop the ball at one point where I had gotten down to 220-something and then ate my way back to a high of 268. I’m not sure the exact time period. No, this hasn’t been a straight shot. I’m scared to death of repeating that – and you will be too, but hopefully you have happier motivation and/or a less stressful reason.
