March 26th, 2012: Had a nice drop in the last 24 hours – 3 pounds down for 288 today, that’s 62 lbs. down from January 2, 2012. 99 more pounds to go. And the long battle continues.
Shirts. We’ve gone from shoes to pants, and now shirts. I’ll skip belts after I admit that I have several belts that seem like they could damn near encircle the globe at the equator. Well, I’m back down to size 2XL shirts, and they fit normal. I went as high as 6XL for a month or so, but I would buy 6XL/Long so they could completely fit over my ass when I untucked them, as if I was trying to hide that horse-sized ass.
Oh, we all knew it was there, even though I did look like I had just a very long back attached to two fleshy tree stumps. All it took was for me to bend over and well, everyone within 20 feet would be treated to the revealing of the ass cleavage, and I didn’t do that to try to impress the ladies, I assure you.
I had one shirt that was 4XL, and blaze orange, that the company I was working for made me wear on certain days when we’d be working around heavy machinery. One time when I was coming through the guard gate I overheard one of the guards telling another guard, and referring to me, that “that’s the biggest goddamn pumpkin I’ve ever seen”. After I wrote that last sentence it made me sound like I was a prisoner at one point (orange shirt, guards, etc.), but I was not a prisoner in the technical sense, just trapped within a fat body and working a job that sometimes seemed like incarceration.
When you’re fat, it’s a good idea to wear a white t-shirt underneath your regular shirt due to sweating problems. But why, I ask, did my white t-shirts always have a food stain on them, in addition to the daily coffee stain? It’s as if I couldn’t get the food or coffee in fast enough.
I have some new XL shirts with long sleeves and a couple of Columbia short sleeve shirts that I’m shooting for fitting into soon. Green, blue, maroon; you know basic stuff, I ain’t no fashion guru! And that’s my shirt story.
March 26th, 2020: The coronavirus has forced the governor of Idaho to close non-essential businesses for the next 3 weeks at least. A gym is evidently considered non-essential, so the one where I’m a trainer and where I train myself, is closed. I could present a solid argument for why gyms should actually be considered essential, but I’m not driving this bus, so rather than fight what I know is a losing battle, I’ll do what one of the managers of this gym suggests, and simply adjust my sails to changing winds.
Another one I read from a meme reminds you to cease trying to calm the storm, and instead work to calm yourself. The storm will pass.
I have learned that in times of chaos, there is opportunity. Here is an opportunity to show the world from what material I am made. This situation is affecting people around the whole world – it isn’t just me or my town or my job or my financial situation. It has become something of an equalizer in terms of behavior among us. In constant conscious effort for the last 25 years, I’ve tried, with varying success, to improve my ability to be cool in the middle of the chaos. I can prove it to myself now by continuing on through it all – adjusting my sails, calming myself, and allowing the storm to pass; adapting to ultimately overcome any and all adversity. I will choose my character in my story – and I choose to be the hero in my own little world, not victim to circumstances around me.
And seriously, it’s three fucking weeks, or maybe four, or maybe 10, who cares. Quit fuckin crying and find a way through it, around it, over it, whatever. Look for all that is good and any opportunity to set yourself apart in a positive way.
