March 1st, 2012: How’s that for annoying? A 3 LB. GAIN? And did I do anything different on the diet? Nope. The body will do what it’s gonna’ do. But still, I consider this another huge non-scale victory for me, because if ever I would quit, it would be today, but all this did was harden my resolve ever more, and it ain’t gonna’ happen. I may quit someday, but not today. But, in case you were wondering, here’s how yesterday went: And it could have been one of those days when I thought about food so much that I caused myself to gain.
I had one of those days where all I thought about was food. Pretty much all day. At one point I had to pull out the little card I made up with my ten reasons for doing this and recite it a few times. But it was like this (these aren’t actually the order of my reasons, it’s just an example of my pinball brain):
- Lose weight for Famous Amos cookies, I mean health reasons.
- Help myself to Domino’s Pepperoni – I mean to not have any more problems with my knees.
- Be able to get nicer clothes that taste, uh I mean, fit better.
- Get more tacos, I mean, respect.
- Be able to compete in eating contests, I mean, sports, again.
And on and on. I remembered rally slogans I’ve gotten from sports teams. I told myself to take the stairs. I told myself NO MATTER WHAT. But they bounced off my psyche like arrows off the dragon Smog! So I had to go to my new last resort weapon. I had to make life hard enough on myself that just getting back to normal would be a treat. I. Had. To. Do. Yoga.
Yoga will kick your ass. Just like that. Up until yesterday the word “yoga”, for me, brought to mind some pseudo-exercise session where a group of folks smoking dope and doing sleepy stretches listen to pleasant far-eastern music that includes a lot of slow-hand sitar. Shit, I was off the mark there, at least for how I experienced it. Pleasant is not the correct term for what that Bob Harper dude can do to you on a video alone. It’s designed for all levels, but man, I must be in worse shape than I thought. I can’t really describe what made it so hard – I mean, it’s not really like cardio or anything or plyometrics or burn-out weightlifting. It’s just . . . it’s just fuckin hard. But it was like smooth difficult, you know, like a cup of dark roast coffee – not joint busting like when you accidentally swallow a dose of Listerine. Stepping out of the comfort zone that far made the rest of a boring old night just fine with me. I recommend it. As far as the unexplainable weight gain? It’ll come off again. No worries.
March 1st, 2020: I “work” part-time as a personal trainer these days. The quotes around the word “work” are there because, like they say, if you like what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. I also “work” as a school-psychologist – again, it’s a labor of love. As with anything I’ve ever done worthwhile in my life, it’s taken many missteps and indescribable levels of patience to get to where I want to be, but also, I note that I’m only starting and scratching the surface with these simultaneous careers. Both jobs are a result of learning what doesn’t work for me. I can say with confidence that I’m fully content with how I make my living now, and conveniently for me, there’s a lot of overlap between psychology and personal training – sometimes it’s difficult to discern where one job ends and the other begins.
I’ve discovered that the irony of working at a health-club as a personal trainer requires a next-level ability to schedule my own time to exercise. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, so you may see me working-out there on either side of the clock on any given day. For me to be satisfied that I’m following my own plan as it has evolved, I better sweat hard at least once every day – 24/7/365.
When I get the mechanics of my program dialed in to the point of publishing for public consumption, I’m gonna include yoga in it much more often, at least once a week. I believe that confusing your body with different exercise gets the best results. It’s kind of like a paleo diet for the gym; er, something. I guess what I try to do is move like I’d move if I had to rely on my body entirely to survive – like a caveman (isn’t that paleo-ish or some shit?). I believe rule #1 is cardio, just like in the movie Zombieland. I also believe in incorporating strength training, based on the time-under-tension theory (which I’ll address at some point), then functional fitness and/or sport-specific fitness, static stretch/isometric/yoga-type exercise, and finally, what I call “hamburger pizza” exercises (again, something I’ll address later – I’ll just leave you guessing for now as to what I mean by “hamburger pizza”).
I meant to mostly address yoga in these paragraphs, but I rabbit-trailed a little bit, so I guess I’ll just have to leave you with a piece of that rare direct advice from me: if you want your exercise program to be complete, try to incorporate this yoga business at least once a week. I’ve found it beyond beneficial for strength and flexibility.
