February 17th, 2012: Well, I’d say I’m firmly trapped within a weight-eddy, but I’m paddling hard – still at 314. I think your body must have to get used to a weight before it drops. I don’t know. That’s what I’m depending on anyway. I would keep at this crap even if I’m never gifted that multiple-pound-in-a-day weight loss again. I’m in this for the long haul, the long run; not the sprint. This program I’m figuring out here is designed to get me a 1-2 lb. loss per week, on average. Key phrase: “on average”. I’ve gotta remember that this doesn’t mean 1-2 pounds every week, it’s averaged out, probably for me, to about 6 months! That would be perfect with me. And if you think about it, it’s got to slow down or stop somewhere. You can’t weigh 0! I’m okay with it all. Promise.
Most of the time when I start thinking too small (pound by pound), I like to reverse my thought process and think and dream big. I like to start thinking months and years down the road, to dilute the small things that occur on a daily basis. This day, though, I will go in an opposite direction and think about mini-thoughts and mini-pleasures: (no particular order)
1) The smell of a new can of coffee right when you open it. Take two deeps breaths. Mmmmm…
2) My little boy running up with open arms to greet me with a huge smile when I get home from work.
3) The hour after I finish my workout.
4) The small bowl of oatmeal I wake up to; and though it’s small, at least I’m awake and alive to have it.
5) Crawling into bed at night (something I never cared about before).
6) My commute alone in the morning with my same exact play list.
7) The sun is still up when I get home from work.
8) Surfing the internet when I’m eating afternoon jell-o.
9) Finishing dinner and winding down by turning off a couple lights around the house.
10) Remembering that spring training for Major League Baseball is right around the corner. This is a harbinger for spring.
11) Watching a new episode of Breaking Bad.
12) Getting a new edition of Bugle Magazine or People Magazine (btw – an article I wrote will be in the March edition of Bugle and there’ll be another one I wrote in the March edition of Idaho magazine).
February 17th, 2020 (retrospective): Scaliocentric. It wasn’t even a real word until I just decided that it is – why not? Half the time I walk around in my own little world anyway, may as well have it’s own language sometimes. Our solar system is heliocentric – our planets revolve around the sun. We revolve around the sun. We revolve around the bathroom scale too, or at least I do. The program seems to consider that scale the center point around which all your emotions and actions will circle. That digital device on the floor between the toilet and the wall seems to have the power to determine whether I have the right to feel good about myself after it gives me the read-out. It doesn’t have that power, of course, it’s just a tool. Beyond a tool, though, it often ends-up as a tangible manifestation of my discipline, my drive, my desire, or even my fundamental self-worth. This is fucked-up, I know it. It can be an extreme limitation to progress. Could the read-out ever be an asset, beyond a tool – like some kind of psychological training aide to streamline the process?
All of this is about the study of behavior, as in psychology. Diet psychology. I submit and maintain that the mechanics of any diet program are simple. Behavior is where it’s at – in terms of something actually working in the long term. I don’t care how good the engine is, if the transmission is whacked, you ain’t going anywhere. The world is full of diet plans – I swear I’ve tried over half of them. All of them worked until they didn’t. The only thing that works is the Process.
Anyway, what if I managed a shitty number on the scale the way I would a kid who exhibits some sort of mild misbehavior? What if I celebrated a number on the scale I wanted like I would a kid who exhibits a desired behavior? I learned that I can’t let that number ruin my day or even my next hour, but I have to let it have its fun a little bit anyway. I started by allowing it to ruin 5 minutes for me, then 3 minutes. Now an undesired number is allowed to ruin the 60 seconds following its revelation, and that’s it. I have a bag ‘o’ tricks for how I cut that time limit back. But the re-training of my thoughts wasn’t natural – not any more innate than avoiding a “shhhhh” to quiet a noisy class. I learned when I was teacher that it’s a waste of breath, literally, to shhhhh a wound-up bunch of kids. It’ll work for, maybe, like 3 seconds. I had to train myself away from that shhhhh. I had to train my way out of feeling sorry for myself and over-aggravated about the scale number when it wouldn’t change, or when the bastard moved north.
The scale is the center-point around which the process orbits. The program says it should be if I want a true measurement of progress through the process. Our solar system is heliocentric, and some religions do indeed worship the sun. I don’t worship the sun, but I depend on it, sometimes directly. Sometimes I get a little bummed if that sun isn’t doing what I want it to that day. Same with the scale, I get down, but only for the amount of time I choose, then I just tell myself that I’ll consider this the challenge for today, and nothing more. This is how I try to take my scaliocentric limitation and turn it into an asset.
