January 23rd, 2012: Still moving down. Down a pound. I’m an even 330. I lost a little battle by not getting 21 pounds in 21 days, but I won’t lose the war. I’m headed downstairs now to the treadmill for my daily 30 minutes of walk/run, and in addition to this, I’ll do a leg workout with squats, leg extensions, and leg curls, and that’s it. I’ll stay normal on the diet, it’s working! I’m doing this. I’m 20 lbs. down people!
For me, Saturday is the hardest. I work in the middle of the desert 4 or 5 days a week, so the food I bring to work is the food I get to eat. Period. But on Saturdays, I could devastate the fridge. It’s what I used to do. Back in the day, Saturday was like 18 beers, two big steaks, or pizza, or, ah, nevermind, it almost kind of sounds absurd now. To combat this the last two weekends, as I will this weekend, I’ll keep up a routine I’ve started. Nothing overwhelming – I just have to keep moving. Exercise – hang with the kids – work with the dogs – write stuff- type stuff – exercise some more – wander around the house looking for broken shit that I probably won’t fix. It’s that damn 6 pm-10 pm time period! I’m usually good after that. I will tell you, though, the increase in my energy compared to 20 days ago is incredible. I can’t wait to see what it’s like at 230, 220, 210, 200, then 190. Wow! I’d hate to waste that energy doing chores, but I don’t know what else to do. What do people do for fun if they don’t eat like pigs or drink like fish? Sometimes the only things I think I know how to do are work, eat like a pig, and drink like a fish. It’s hard sometimes to look for other things to occupy the mind and hands. Maybe sometimes you just have to sit there and daydream and be glad you don’t live to be 200 years old. That would be a lot of days thinking about food.
January 23rd, 2020 (retrospective): Boredom has the potential to ruin any run at dropping bad habits. It was the same with this new life I started in 2012 as it was with dropping tobacco and alcohol years before, in that I wasn’t sure there was life after…
Everything in my life seemed to have an oral-intake passenger involved with it. I couldn’t make a move without putting in a dip of Copenhagen, smoking a cigarette, taking a gulp of beer, or having something to eat. What is a cool summer morning without that first cigarette? What is the start of a 4 am drive to elk hunting without coffee and a wad of Copenhagen in my upper lip? What is playing Blackjack or sitting outside on the patio in the summer or fishing without a Bud Light? What is Christmas without hundreds of Christmas cookies and 20 oz. slabs of prime rib with horseradish? How do you do anything without the thought of the reward of all you can eat of whatever you want to eat waiting for you at lunch or dinner?
This may have been one of the hardest battles of all: killing time, especially on weekends. Weekends used to be all I lived for, but all of sudden I dreaded them. I wish I could put my finger on how I learned to get through them. It has taken me 8 years, but I’m back to enjoying weekends again. There is life after all-you can eat, but it took practice. Maybe all you can do is keep living and wait it out sometimes. Lay siege to the demons and they weaken. Just survive. Just believe that it gets easier.
